Linguists, social scientists, and critics have observed and studied cis gay men’s use of “she,” and their assessments point to the multiple and often conflicting dimensions of the practice. It may be time to reevaluate cis gay men’s use of words like 'she' and 'girl' to make sure they align with ongoing efforts to respect nonbinary gender identities, and avoid making assumptions about people’s pronouns. In a culture where women and femininity have long been denigrated and belittled, there is a danger that cis men using these words can perpetuate some of these negative tropes. Creating a shared culture - including language - around femininity can be a way of reclaiming the bases for oppression many gay men have experienced, as well as disrupting the harmful gender binary.īut few if any linguistic practices are all one thing, all the time. For many gay men, using these words with their friends is a way of embracing femininity and showing vulnerability or affection to others who share their identities. The use of she/her pronouns by cisgender gay men, along with words such as 'girl' or 'honey,' is a long-standing and increasingly visible practice.
